A wide variety of tools have been developed by clinicians to work with children who have experienced trauma and ChildTherapyToys.com has endeavored to make many of these resources available. These tools include therapeutic card games and board games, activities to facilitate discussion, self-help books, and workbooks. Below I have listed several of our most popular resources.
Becoming A Superhero provides young children (ages 5 to 9) specific coping skills that will build their sense of resiliency and reduce PTSD symptoms. This book can be used both as prevention and intervention when working with children who have experienced a traumatic event. The Trauma Reaction Cards are a therapeutic tool to assist children and adolescents in understanding and identifying their reactions to traumatic or stressful life experiences. These cards can be used with all ages. The Let's Talk Coloring Books is a series of four coloring books that make it easier to interview and treat distressed or traumatized children. The workbooks are especially helpful in dealing with difficult subjects such as child sexual abuse. These appealing coloring books encourage expression without leading the child. The Let’s Talk Coloring Books can be used with ages 4 to 9. Healing Games is a collection of six therapeutic board games designed to help children who have experienced serious life events that have left them feeling sad, angry, helpless, and even depressed. Healing games is for children 6-12. Blurt It Out! The Say What You Think Game is for ages 6 to 14. It is an engaging therapeutic card game that allows therapists and counselors to assess psychological processes quickly and effectively in a playful and non-threatening way, while helping the child to increase self-awareness and self-understanding. These five items have been combined into The Trauma Resource Tool Box.
Another great resource that was recently published is the children’s book When a Grown-up You Love Hurts You. This book was written for children ages 4-8 who have experienced physical abuse by a grown-up they love. The book helps them think about and process the conflicting emotions that often follow such an event. The colorful and engaging illustrations help the child identify with the characters in a way that feels safe and facilitates discussion. Another excellent book is The Safe Touch Coloring Book. It provides an easy way for adults to teach children how to avoid being a victim of sexual abuse. The Safe Touch Coloring Book can be used by counselors, parents, and teachers. The coloring book is designed for children up to age eleven. A caring adult can read to the child while they color the pages. Each time the child begins to color is another opportunity to read the entire coloring book to emphasize sexual safety in a non-threatening way. Finding Sunshine After the Storm is another excellent resource for facilitating therapy. This workbook includes many easy to implement activities drawn from a variety of therapeutic modalities.
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There is no objective way to determine what games are “best” for an individual clinician. The choice of games will depend on the setting, therapeutic orientation, and population being served. Generally, it is helpful to have a variety of game types. For example, card games, board games, and stacking games. It is also useful to have games that cover a variety of challenges, topics, and age groups. This post focuses exclusively on games developed for counseling and therapy. The games selected for this post have stood the test of time and continue to be among the most popular games used by child clinicians. The order of discussion is random and no attempt was made to rank the games.
The first game up is the classic Talking, Feeling, and Doing Game. It is the best know board game specifically aimed for use in child therapy. Items used in the game, and the structure of the game, are familiar to most children. There is a board, spinner, chips, pawns, dice, and three sets of cards. Children and young adolescents will usually enjoy this game. There are three types of cards in The Talking, Feeling, and Doing Game: Feeling Cards, Doing Cards, and Talking Cards. The child rolls the dice and then moves the pawn the number spaces indicated on the dice. Once the child lands on a space they either follow thedirections written on the space or respond to a card that corresponds to the color of the space. Gardner designed the game with a view toward better understanding the child’s psychological processes. Children typically are not capable of fully talking about what is troubling them. Playing a game is a non-threatening way for clinicians to explore what might be going on with a child. Playing this game adds a playful element to therapy which most children will enjoy. In developing the game Gardner wrote both low anxiety and high anxiety cards. Several supplemental decks have been developed that can be used with the board game, or as stand alone card games. Topics covered include grief, divorce, anger, shyness, conflict, good behavior, and teasing.
Totika is a game similar to Jenga. In fact, Jenga can be modified by numbering the blocks and using those numbers as a prompt for questions. In the game of Totika a block is removed from the tower. The colors on the blocks correspond to colors on the Question Deck cards. The color on the block serves as a prompt to identify which question should be selected on the card and responded to. Decks available for the Totika game: Self-Esteem Cards (included with the game), Ice Breaker Cards, Divorce Cards, Jr. Principles, Values, and Beliefs, Life Skills Question Deck, Teen-Adult Principles, Values, and Beliefs, Anger, and Bullying. Children ages 8 and up will enjoy Totika.
The Social and Emotional Competence Game (by the author) is focused on specific aspects of functioning and behavior. The game is a useful introduction for children just starting in therapy and can be played multiple times at different stages in therapy. The game can also be played in small groups and with siblings and is suitable for children and early adolescence. The design of The Social and Emotional Competence Game is premised on the assumption that children who are able to initiate and maintain relationships, cooperate with others, empathize, and communicate effectively are more likely to experience success at home, at school, and with their peers. Social and emotional competence refers to the capacity to recognize and manage emotions, solve problems effectively, and establish and maintain relationships with others. It is these skills that serve to protect our children from a host of difficulties including behavior problems, increased emotional distress, academic failure, delinquency, and substance abuse. The Social and Emotional Competence Game is designed to give counselors and teachers another tool to teach social and emotional skills. The Social and Emotional Competence Game is a fun way to teach empathy, communication skills, self-awareness, social awareness, relationship skills, self-management, and responsible decision-making. Like the Talking, Feeling, and Doing Game, The Social and Emotional Competence Game consists of elements that are familiar to most children: a board, dice, pawns, chips, and a spinner. The object of the game is to have the most chips when time is up. Cards can be pre-arranged prior to a session to focus on specific issues. additional decks of cards are available to cover Asperger’s Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD.
The Feeling Playing Cards are a complete deck with traditional card values marked on them (numbers 2 thru 10, Jack, King, Queen, Ace). The cards are illustrated with a variety of feelings faces created by illustrator Jim Borgman. The deck can be used to play any card game and includes instructions for Go Feelings (Go Fish), Frustrated (Old Maid), Concentration, Bingo Feeing-O, Crazy 8s, Snap, Beggar My Neighbor, Twenty-One, Slapjack, and Rummy.
The Who Are You? Thumball is a great icebreaker for individual therapy, groups, families, and workshops. Thumball is easy to throw and catch indoors since it is a soft stuffed ball. It can be used to start and end a session, or at any time during a session or meeting. Game play is simple. The ball may be thrown, rolled, or passed to the next person. The recipient looks under their thumb and reacts to the word or phrase. Each panel has a different word or phrase and the thumball has 32 panels. The Who Are You Thumball includes phrases such as: favorite toy or game, what makes you mad, and happiest memory.
Go Fish: Anchor Your Stress was developed for children in elementary school. Game play is based on the Go Fish card game, which is familiar to many children. This game teaches players about stress and anxiety and helps them deal with anxiety-provoking situations. It also provides practical thinking skills that include self-talk, coping mechanisms, and relaxation techniques. There are two decks of 50 cards; one for grades 1-3, and grades 4-5. The game differs from classic go fish in that players must answer a question before they can accept a requested card. Instead of numbers on the cards they have fun fish names and pictures. A rules sheet and facilitator guidelines included. There are 12 additional games in this series.
The Ungame and Ungame Cards were not developed for counseling so I’m deviating a little here by including them in this post. The Ungame Board Game and the Ungame Card sets are widely used in counseling and therapy and are suitable for all ages. Non-competitive games, such as The Ungame, are designed specifically to foster communication. The Ungame is available as a board game, and as a separate card games for Kids, Teens, and Families. The Ungame is ideal for a therapy session as the length of play can be predetermined at the start of the game. If there are only fifteen minutes left in the session the game can still be played and the session can still be quite productive. In addition, playing the Ungame fosters skills such as sharing, interacting, and listening. The Ungame board game includes two levels of “general cards,” a board, pawns, and a die. Level one cards tend to be light-hearted and non-threatening, and Level two cards tend to require more thought and self-revelation. Level 2 cards ask questions about feelings, values, and memories. The Ungame card games also consist of level one and level two cards and may be used with the board game. Simply substitute the general cards that come with the game with one of the card decks. The card game includes Choice, Question and Comment cards, which are also spaces on the board game, so these cards should be removed when using them with the board game. The board game is easy to play. Players take turns rolling the die, count spaces and then respond to the prompt on the space they land on. If they land on an Ungame space, they pick up a card, read it out loud, and respond. If they land on a Question space they may ask any player any question they like. If they land on a Comment space, they may make a comment about anything they like.
The Stop, Relax, and Think board game is another classic and nearly as old as the Talking, Feeling, and Doing board game. The Stop, Relax, and Think Board Game is suitable for children ages 6 through 12. I've used this game for over twenty years and it continues to be popular with my clients. While playing this board game, active, impulsive children learn impulse control, relaxation skills, how to express their feelings and how to problem-solve. The game includes a game board, 50 tokens, 1 6-sided die, 1 10-sided die, 6 turtle game pieces and 2 card decks. The two decks consist of Feeling cards and Thinking cards. In addition, there are spaces where players need to practice stopping and practice relaxing (e.g., imagine big puffy clouds, or take 3 deep breathes).
The Mad Dragon Anger Control Card Game is his fast-paced therapeutic card game for children ages 6 to 12 years-old. The game is played the same way Uno is played. Participants learn how to control their anger in the moment and practice 12 effective anger management techniques. Participants also begin to understand what anger feels and looks like, how to avoid anger-provoking situations, express and understand their feelings, and identify anger cues. The game comes with 100 high-quality 3 x 4 cards, instructions, and tips for taming anger.
Bridge Over Worried Waters helps children learn strategies for handling anxiety. It is designed to support treatment of anxiety disorders in children ages 6-13 years old. The game incorporates relaxation, positive self-talk, and other coping behaviors into a game format. To start the game, players place a Worried Waters raging river sheet in front of them and are dealt Solution Cards and Problem cards. Players read aloud one of the Problem cards. Players then decide on an appropriate Solution card to use as a positive strategy to address the anxiety in the situation. There are three types of solution cards:
▪ Self-Talk Cards−challenge self-defeating thoughts by replacing negative thoughts with positive, optimistic thoughts.
▪ Relaxation Cards−calm down by using deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, and meditation.
▪ Coping Cards−distract by diverting attention away from anxious feelings to fun or effortful activities.
When the situation has been successfully solved with one of the Solution cards, the player then tosses the Problem card into the “Worried Waters” and the Solution card is used to create the foundation or top of a bridge. The object of the game is to build a bridge that carries the player across the “Worried Waters” to the safety of the other bank by successfully using the techniques they have learned in the Solution cards. Players actually build a bridge using the two types of Solution cards for supports and the roadway. The support cards stay upright using stands provided with the game. There are both competitive and cooperative versions for 2-5 players.
The Conflict Resolution Thumball is a unique tool to help groups and teams learn how to resolve conflicts. This thumball is six inches across and contains a wide variety of prompts and questions. Game play is simple. The ball may be thrown, rolled, or passed to the next person. The recipient looks under their thumb and reacts to the word or phrase. Each panel has a different word or phrase and the thumball has 32 panels. Examples of prompts include: How can you be part of the solution? What behaviors are unproductive? Describe your initial reaction to the conflict.
The Yes I Can Handle My Anger game is an activity designed to help participants understand and appreciate various aspects of being angry. There are three types of cards designed to help participants identify triggers for anger, identify positive and negative behaviors associated with anger, and identify thoughts associated with anger. Developing anger management skills is aided by discussion and role playing during the game. This activity was developed by the author and is suitable for ages 6 to Adult, 2 to 6 players.
]]>During the conference I received quite a lengthy lecture from an attendee about how this dollhouse was not appropriate for play therapy. Again, quite a level of certitude! I won’t share the names or play orientation of these very certain therapists. Not only does it seem arrogant to say there is only one way to do play therapy, it seems very unhelpful to our clients.
As it turns out, experience suggests there is no one size fits all way to conduct play therapy. On this point many clinicians agree. Look at the September 2019 issue of Play Therapy magazine (seriously, take a look, it’s a great issue). Eight different play therapy theories are discussed. And of course, within each theory are numerous approaches to play therapy, some combining theoretical orientations. Rather than trying to identify the “right way” to do play therapy, the authors of the introductory article to the issue argue that first and foremost it is important for play therapists to develop an in-depth understanding and appreciation of the therapeutic power or play. Without adequate foundation practitioners run the risk of “practicing in a haphazard manner” (Peabody & Schaefer, Play Therapy, Volume 14, Issue 3).
Where does that leave us? Study a lot! Learn how play is essential and foundational, and identify a theoretical orientation that suites you and you feel comfortable with. Build on that. Ask, “What does this client need” over and over again. In the meantime, our job at ChildTherapyToys.com is to bring you whatever tools, toys, and books you need to be a successful clinician. Let us know if we’re not meeting your needs. We’re always open to suggestions.
]]>The best sandtray sand is going to be sand that is safe and free of dust and asbestos. White is the preferred color. If starting with a standard size tray, you will need 35-40 lbs. We generally recommend buying 50 lbs. when starting. This gives you enough sand to fill the tray and have some left over to replace sand that is spilled or knocked out of the tray.
Many therapists prefer the standard size tray which is based on a model developed by Dora Kalff. The tray is 29” x 19” x 3”. Individual craftsman may vary the dimensions slightly. The size of the tray is determined by what an individual can see without turning their head. Therefore, slight differences in length and width are not important, and the depth is adjustable. Some tray makers prefer to make a slightly deeper tray. The inside of the tray should be blue, to represent sky and water. Some therapists prefer two trays, one for dry sand and the second for wet sand. For therapists on a limited budget smaller trays, and trays made of plastic make sense. Click here to see a variety of sand trays.
Buying sand tray miniatures when starting out can be a daunting task. Guidelines for buying miniatures can be unhelpful. For example, it is recommended that a sand tray miniature collection include “everything that is in the world.” More helpful guidelines break things down into categories (see below). Allow yourself to be flexible and open to a range of sizes, objects, and figures. There is no “right” size or perfect miniature. ChildTherapyToys.com has tried to make the process simpler by offering a number of sets, beginner packages, and collections. However, many therapists enjoy shopping for their own packages and creating their own collection. ChildTherapyToys.com carries well over 1,000 sand tray miniatures. Arrange your miniatures on narrow shelves, so that the items in the back are not hidden. Create categories that make sense to you and try to avoid putting “scary” items next to a child or small animal figure. Other considerations for collecting miniatures includes the ages of your clients & presenting issues. It is important to have a variety of cultural backgrounds and ethnicities represented. It is also important to have a variety of environments represented such has home, school, playground, hospital, office, and sports field. Include both real and fantasy objects and creatures. Sculpey may be used to create interesting and hard to find objects, such as fire or a tornado.
A list of suggested figures can never be complete. However, this list should provide a good place to start thinking about what you want to include in your collection.
Animals: You will want to include the following categories of animals in your collection: Dinosaurs, domestic animals, farm animals, ocean animals, reptiles and amphibians, wild animals, birds, and bugs/butterflies/spiders.
Fantasy Creatures: This may include unicorns, Cerberus, mermaids; cartoon and movie figures; fairies; as well as action figures. Other fantasy figures that should be included are witches and wizards; royalty; and mythical beings.
Household Items: In addition to houses, it is helpful to have food.
Landscaping Materials: This includes not only trees, but bridges, stones, shells, fences, signs, water, hiding places, and plants.
Vehicles: Try to have a variety of vehicles including trucks, passenger cars, rescue vehicles, and water vehicles.
People: It is hard to have too many people. You will want to have human figures to represent all ages, and a variety of ethnicities and occupations. Human figures will also include religious figures, action figures, and fighting and military figures.
Buildings: Buildings that can be represented include the home, schools, offices, lighthouses, as well as partially destroyed buildings.
Miscellaneous: This might actually be the largest category. It can include just about anything including shiny objects, poop, bones, demolition tools, cigarettes, volcano, pills, statues, and so on.]]>When I started my practice I furnished my playroom through the time honored process of visiting yard sales and garage sales. It was a great way to begin and I still have some of the play therapy toys I bought 25+ years ago. Of course, I also kept my eyes open for sales when I visited department stores. Dollar stores and “flea markets” are still a great way to acquire some cool stuff for the playroom. About six months into my private practice I came across a catalog that featured a “complete” play therapy set of toys for 800 dollars. Yikes! I went for it and it turned out to be a great purchase. That catalog company is no longer in business. However, when I started ChildTherapyToys.com one of the first things I did was develop The Complete Play Therapy Room, along with a number of other play therapy toy packages. Packages are a great way to save at least 10% over buying items individually.
All merchants must have sales. However, there is not a specific sale season for play therapy toys. Play therapy toys sell year round. Therefore, markdowns tend to happen all year round, so it’s helpful to peruse the Savings pages periodically. Items that are marked down are often desirable. Markdowns occur when an item is overstocked, discontinued, or no longer fits our product mix. Checking the Savings pages will only get you half-way there. Like every other online store we want you to visit us during the holidays. To track the best sales and obtain the best markdowns it is recommended that customers sign up for our email on our home page (bottom right hand corner) and follow us on Facebook. Special discounts and coupon codes are announced on Facebook first, and then an email is sent out.
Now, how about those super large, sells everything, online marketplaces? Of course, as a small specialty retailer, we prefer you shop with us or other family owned business. While savings can be found, many of the large marketplaces can be more expensive for similar items. Vendors on marketplaces must pay a percentage of sales to the marketplace and sometimes this is compensated for by raising prices.
Who are we? Childtherapytoys.com was founded by child psychologists Gary Yorke, Ph.D. and Jane Yorke, M.A. to provide therapy products to mental health professionals who work with children. We select all the products on our website, as well as accepting recommendations from other clinicians, university faculty, and students of child and play therapy. Our staff is dedicated to fulfilling customer orders and supporting our customers in whatever way is needed to make shopping with childtherapytoys.com as easy as possible. We work closely with our vendors to ensure that products are in stock and back-orders are limited as much as possible.
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At least twice a year we receive requests from clinicians that we remove items, such as the fake cigarettes, from our website. I usually respond with a link to an article about play therapy or sand tray therapy. Then, there was the outrage over our Eating Disorder Set that we sold on childtherapytoys.com and eBay. Convinced we were mocking her condition an angry consumer wrote a scathing comment on our Facebook page, excoriating us for our insensitivity. A link to an article on sand tray therapy and empathy for her situation seemed to address her concerns. New customer support and fulfillment staff can be a challenge. Somehow, we need to convince them that fake poop, scary zombies, and miniature handcuffs have therapeutic value.
With a mission to provide play and child therapists everything they need to do therapy it is likely that we will continue to have some explaining to do!
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Since I’ve been doing sand tray therapy trainings for several years now many folks have asked the best way to arrange miniatures on shelves. As an aside, don’t worry for you traveling, crammed-for-space-therapists- my next blog post will be just for you so be on the lookout! Now, back to the fun stuff. I’m going to show you how I arrange my miniatures and tell you my logic behind my placements. Plus, you’ll get to see most of my miniatures up close and personal, which I can bet will give you some miniature envy (there’s no such thing as ‘enough’ miniatures!) Okay! Roll up your sleeves and let’s dig in shall we?
To start, you can see my animal shelves below. I place my animals closest to the bottom because they are most used my younger kiddos. Young kids are most likely to use animals rather than people so putting them on the bottom just makes practical sense. Groupings of domesticated animals- try to put the horses and other types of animals together. Kids will often make families out of these. Horses get used a LOT. Scary spiders go at the bottom. These are a MUST for working with little boys.
CTT comment: Scroll down to “Animals” to see our entire selection.
When I moved offices, I knew I had to dedicate more shelves to fantasy miniatures. These are also a must-have for your sand tray collection because they get used with all ages. Adults usually place them as metaphors or hobbies, but kids will tell lots of stories with the fantasy figures. Don’t worry- by placing an Elsa miniature there you aren’t guaranteed to hear the whole plot of Frozen. Dragon shelf: used for all ages but again little boys gravitate towards this shelf. Multiple-headed dragons are the best.
If you work with kids AT ALL, you will likely have a difficult time keeping this shelf neat and tidy. Little boys typically LOVE to smash cars into each other. Remember, even if they can’t tell you what is happening in the tray, it doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. The brain never misses a chance to integrate.
When working with school age clients and older, having a variety of people is extremely helpful. Try to collect as many different ages, skin colors, and diverse abilities as possible. As you can see, I separated mine into gender and then had a shelf for groupings of people. I also made a separate placement just for what I think of as “milestone markers,” such as birth, weddings, graduation. Place these near the bottom so your kids can access people miniatures as needed. Children shelf on the bottom (babies are grouped) and then the women shelf above it. Can you spot my favorite?
CTT comment: Scroll down to “Figures” to see our entire selection.
I have an entire shelf devoted just to fences. You really can never have too many fences. Kids will often line the tray with fences and have fences inside of fences. A variety of size and shapes are helpful.
Just as fences get used in trays for all ages, so do treasure chests, treasures, and rocks. I try to place these near the middle on my shelves. Don’t worry about sorting all of your rocks because the kids will choose what they need anyway (and you will drive your OCD self insane if you make this a priority.)
CTT note: See the Landscape page as well.
Seems like an odd pairing at first huh? But, if you think about it, religion plays a key role in how we see death, so it makes sense to have these near each other. Clients of all ages will use these- adults again, perhaps more metaphorically but these two shelves do get a lot of use in my playroom. In case you can’t see, they are in the middle shelves.
But what about all that stuff that just doesn’t have a category? Round those up and put them on shelves you classify as “miscellaneous.” Adults LOVE these shelves. So many abstract thoughts and stories come from random miniatures. Always keep an eye out at yard sales and flea markets for one-of-a-kind miniatures to fill these shelves. Often those miniatures where I have NO CLUE how they could be used end up being the most popular ones!
I place my houses at the top because these rarely get used by little ones, but adults love to populate their trays with houses. A variety of houses is helpful for the client to find one that is “just right.” Bridges are often used by adults to symbolize hope and connection. Any time you see a bridge come into a tray, know you are on the right track.
I keep my breakable stuff on the top shelves. However, this doesn’t mean that stuff never gets broken. If you are super worried about it getting broken, it doesn’t belong in your collection. Put that on a bookshelf somewhere where you can admire it. Adults will be the ones who use these. Even then, it’s not super common for adults to use them. I think I have these for myself, if I’m honest.
CTT note: We have hundreds of miniatures and dozens of categories to choose from
Thanks to Amy Flaherty and The Southern Sandtray for this great post!
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Symptoms and behaviors that indicate anxiety may include restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge, being easily fatigued, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, and sleep disturbance. The child may exhibit behavioral difficulties such as school refusal, resistance to new activities, separation difficulties, difficulty playing alone, difficulty sleeping alone, or emergence of specific fears.
Fortunately psychological treatment (such as play therapy) of anxiety in children has been proven to be quite successful. Many children can benefit from psychotherapy and do not require medication, a significant concern for many parents. Simply educating parents and children about the nature of anxiety and then teaching ways to identify, assess, and change anxious thinking can help the parent and child immensely. Teaching a child to recognize the physiological symptoms of anxiety and to combat them with relaxation techniques is quite helpful. Children can easily learn how to use positive self-talk to deal with recurring worry and stress. Parents may also need to be educated in the best ways to aid their child with these anxiety disorders.
ChildTherapyToys.com carries a wide variety of books and games that are helpful for teaching children and teens strategies for dealing with their anxiety.
Self-Help Books for Children and Adolescents
Games for Children and Adolescents
]]>The first use of play in therapy dates to the early 1900s. Play therapy differs from regular play in that it encourages children to use their play to address their challenges. In play therapy toys and games are the language used to express thoughts and feelings. Facilitated by the relationship with the therapist play therapy helps children learn more adaptive behaviors. Some of the benefits of play therapy include enhanced communication skills, learning to express feelings, modification of behavior, improved problem-solving skills, and improved relations with peers and family members. By providing “a safe psychological distance” from their challenges and conflicts play therapy gives children an opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings in a way that is consistent with their development.
Play therapy works by allowing children to confront their problems and challenges in a supportive setting in a developmentally appropriate way. There are many strategies for working with children in play therapy. Often children are able to discover their own solutions for dealing with their challenges. In other situations, the therapist provides structured, or semi-structured, play therapy activities that promote social and emotional competence. Children as young as three-years-old can benefit from play therapy and it is often utilized up to early adolescence. Play therapy is recommended as the primary, and first intervention for a variety of childhood issues such as depression, anxiety, and oppositional defiant disorder. It can also be a useful adjunct for children experiencing medical illness, ADHD, autism, and academic difficulties. Play therapy is useful for children experiencing life stressors such as divorce, abuse, neglect, death, or natural disaster.
Play therapy sessions are typically 30-45 minutes. Children may attend as few as 6-8 sessions, or weekly sessions for a year, or longer. While parents are typically not included in these sessions many child therapists meet separately with parents to provide feedback, support, and parent training.
ChildTherapyToys.com provides all the tools needed for play and child therapists. ChildTherapyToys.com distributes toys, books, games, puppets, sand tray miniatures, bop bags, building toys, blocks, dolls, and more. ChildTherapyToys.com also recognizes outstanding contributors to the well-being of children through its Play More Hero Award.
]]>I have a definite bias toward wooden dollhouses and all the dollhouses carried by ChildTherapyToys.com are made of wood. When choosing a dollhouse budget and available space need to be considered. Also, will there be other available structures like a fort, school, or firehouse? Accessories are important. Some dollhouse packages include dolls and furniture. These packages are generally a good idea for therapists in the early stages of furnishing a playroom. Below are our picks.
Built to stand-up in a preschool environment this dollhouse will last for years. At 20" long, 12" wide, and 16.5 inches high this dollhouse will not take up a lot of space. Both boys and girls will enjoy this structure. It has a lift-off roof, removable second story and slide out interior walls. The set comes with a lot of furniture! It includes dining room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, living room, and parent’s room furniture and accessories.
This dollhouse is perfect for the small playroom or portable play therapist. When opened it is quite roomy. It also includes 2 dolls, 11 pieces of furniture, a working front door, and a carrying handle. When closed this dollhouse is 10.2" tall x 7.5" wide x 13.5" deep. It is made of durable, lightweight rubber wood.
While this is one of the pricier options for a playroom it will last for years. It is made in the USA and constructed of durable, visually appealing Birch. Each house is 23 x 17 x 12 inches. There are 36 pieces of furniture, enough for two homes. The block house design makes each room very accessible from any angle.
This extremely well made and attractive dollhouse will last for years. It is made of Birch and built in the US. The design allows for access from any side, so it is easy for multiple children to play at the same time. In addition to two extra-large rooms, there is an attic, garage, and terrace. The set includes 4 families of dolls and 18 pieces of furniture. This dollhouse is large! It is 30 inches high, 23 inches long, and 18 inches wide. If you have the room and the budget there is no downside to this set.
]]>Teacher comments can have a significant impact on a child's self-esteem. Many students come to school sad and discouraged as a result of poverty, abuse or other problems. Children desperately need someone to believe in their worth and encourage them to try harder to do their best! Jerry Moe, a renowned national speaker and prevention specialist for children at the Betty Ford Center, shared his childhood at a recent conference. His parents were alcoholics who were unavailable to help him grow and develop into a self-confident child. As an adolescent, he exhibited delinquent behaviors. One day a substitute teacher called him aside and said, "You are too good to get in trouble. I see a lovable child underneath your tough exterior. You are a valuable human being. I know you can make a contribution to this world." Mr. Moe reported that those few words turned his life around and he began to believe that he could develop into a worthwhile person. Students with a low sense of worth dwell on their weaknesses. Teachers who search for and discover each child's strengths can contribute greatly to a child's revised self-concept. When a teacher mentions a child's strengths, he or she will most likely begin to believe he has abilities. For example a teacher might say:
Words that paint successful pictures for children stimulate optimism about their future and thus encourage positive behaviors. If you want to inspire your students, stop and think before saying something defeating and then express the idea in a constructive, encouraging way.
NOTE FROM CHILD THERAPY TOYS: There are dozens of wonderful tools available to foster and enhance self-esteem while working with children. Click here to check some of them out.
]]>While psychologists advise parents to wait four years between children this seldom happens. The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) reports that 17.5% of parents have a 13 to 24 month age gap between their first two children, while 17.2% have a 25 to 36 month age gap. The smaller the gap the more likely it is that challenges will be experienced. Regardless of the age in which a sibling arrives, children will experience a range of emotions, some of which they will never have felt before. Verbal children, with a good feelings word vocabulary may have an easier time. Dozens of books have been written that can help children expand their vocabulary and help them deal with their feelings. Studies show that the more a child suppresses their feelings about the new member of their family the greater the number of maladaptive behaviors that are displayed.
The transition into siblinghood
Close to 80% of American children have at least one sibling, according to a review of studies by Brenda L. Volling. Every child reacts differently to the arrival of a brother or sister. It is useful to note that most of the time the parent’s expectation of their child’s behavior was worse than it was. Undesirable behaviors that may be presented by children with a new sibling include:
In addition, the transition into siblinghood often resulted in a decrease in the child’s displays of affection. With parents being increasingly advised to spend as much time as possible with their baby it is quite easy for an older child to feel like they’ve been replaced by their sibling and this can lead them to act out. With this in mind, parents should avoid quickly reprimanding their older child and focus on teaching and encouraging positive behaviors.
Expressing their emotions
Most parents and clinicians are aware that children express feelings of frustration and anger from infancy, but not usually with words. For example, Jess, age 5, would physically restrain his younger sibling from crawling resulting in an angry scream from his baby brother. Even when such behavior is displayed, clinical psychologist, Dr. Mandi Silverman says that parents must do their utmost to display and reassure their child that the new addition to their family is for the greater good. Parents should be encouraged to use feeling language and teach feeling words so that their child can express how they feel about their new sibling in a way that doesn’t cause harm. Sara Laule, MD notes that parents can also encourage their children to draw or paint their feelings to help parents understand their emotions better.
Alleviating aggression through positive reinforcement
Multiple longitudinal studies have found that aggression increases in older children when they become a big brother or sister. One of the biggest worries this brings to parents is the fear that their older child with physically hurt their younger sibling. Such behavior should be discouraged at all times; however, it’s essential that it’s not done in a negative way. A parent’s natural response to this scenario is usually to put the child in time out. AAP News reports that more than three-quarters of parents use time out to deal with their children’s inappropriate behavior. Parents need to exercise caution when delivering negative consequences as they run the risk of making their child feel that they are being punished for their feelings or for not being a good enough family member.
Referring to the baby as “our baby” is highly recommended as it instantly includes the older sibling. Parents should also actively encourage the older child to ‘do good’ for their baby brother or sister. During nappy changes and feeding times, this can involve asking the older child to pass the baby wipes or to sing a song to keep the baby amused. As a child becomes more interested in their younger sibling and demonstrates greater affection and love, parents may wish to increase the bond between the two by allowing the older sibling to hold and feed the younger one. Bottle feeding a baby takes care and precision and many parents will use a bottle warmer to get the temperature of the milk just right. An older sibling could be taught the importance of taking care around any hot water and hot milk and learn how to test the temperature before giving it to their sibling. Of course, doll play is an ideal way to teach a child how to hold and feed their sibling correctly.
The importance of one-on-one time
In order to help a child overcome his or her feelings of jealousy, anger, sadness, and anxiety, parents need to ensure that they factor in some quality one-on-one time with their child. A 1993 study found that following the birth of a sibling, older children cuddled their mothers less often than they did before their sibling’s birth. Blake Lancaster Ph.D. advises that parents should allow their child to guide the activity during this time and to follow their lead as this will keep things natural and pressure-free for both the parent and child.
The majority of children who experience the transition of becoming a brother or sister will not experience significant adjustment difficulties. And the transition can be made even easier with some of the strategies discussed above. However, there are those children who will struggle to adjust. Play Therapy is recommended for those children who have persistent adjustment difficulties. Information about Play Therapy and help locating a play therapist can be found at www.A4PT.com.
This article was kindly contributed to us by Amy Fletcher, on behalf of BABY SCHOOLING. Check them out!
]]>Peer status is a key concern for children with ADHD. A review of peer relationships for 7–9 year old children diagnosed with ADHD found that 52% of these children were in the rejected category and less than 1% were of popular status. Having a birthday party, receiving an invitation to a birthday party, or not receiving an invitation, can impact a child’s peer status. Behavioral and verbal responses (whether appropriate or dysregulated) when one of these scenarios present themselves, or during a party, can further impact peer status and relationships. Whether the child with ADHD will attend a friend’s birthday party or the parents will throw a birthday party for their child, parents can help their child by planning ahead and anticipating challenges. Every child should enjoy birthday parties as they are major events in their childhood. Children with ADHD are no exception. When children experience a good birthday celebration, whether it’s their own party or their friends', they will have a valuable memory.
Preparation
Since some parts of birthday parties are predictable, parents can help prepare their child for these events. For example, receiving birthday greetings, singing Happy Birthday, saying good-bye, and saying thank you. Parents can teach some of these skills by using playful activities to improve the social skills of their child. Through playing games, the child can also learn what to do in less structured situations such as being part of a game, or simply interacting with another child at the party.
It is helpful to go over everything with your child a few times before the party. Parents should explain how the party will unfold and help establish the child’s expectations. Parents can also help the child write a timeline of the events to make them better understand what will happen.
Consider the Guest List and Length of the Party
While it might seem like a good idea to invite all the classmates of the child it may be too stressful or overstimulating for the child with ADHD if there are a lot of people at the party. Individuals with ADHD are often easily overwhelmed and overstimulated. Another benefit of having only a few attendees is that the birthday child will be able to interact with each attendee with less pressure. Parents should also make it a point to keep the party as short as possible. It’s better to have a short, fun, and memorable party than one where the child becomes exhausted and dysregulated. Parents should also consider the size of the party when they attend another child’s party.
Familiarize your Child with the Location
Children with ADHD are often creatures of habit. Many want familiarity and consistency, which is why new places might be overstimulating or overwhelming for them. Taking this into account, parents need to choose a location where their child is very comfortable. Parents can also help their child become familiar with an unfamiliar location of a friend’s party by visiting a couple of times. For some children, this will reduce stress and reduce the chance that they become dysregulated.
Communication with Other Parents
It is also important to communicate with other parents. Ask other parents about their plans for the birthday party. Parents should discuss with each other vital information about their child to make sure that every child will have the best time.
]]>All 15 skills are tied to children's predictability on experiencing success in academics, social relationships and overall life satisfaction. In addition, most of the skills are related to the trendy concepts of grit, growth mindset and resiliency.
But what's most important, is that all the skills can be developed and cultivated over time; and are essential to enabling a child to navigate through life's wonders and challenges and maximize their sense of fulfillment.
I applied CASEL's domains (since they are the most credible organization on promoting social and emotional learning) as a foundational basis to organize the skills into 5 simple domains of: Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness, Relationships Skills and Responsible Decision-Making.
The Self Awareness domain is a child's ability to accurately recognize their own emotions, thoughts and values which allows them to be more conscious of their actions and behaviors. This is important because when a child is more aware of themselves both internally and externally, they are better able to navigate life challenges and make appropriate decisions.
The ability to identify and be aware of their internal feelings and emotions during and after a situation. Feelings and emotions are generally indicators, and when a child is able to identify them, they can use this information on how to appropriately respond and react.
The ability to understand the degree of their own skills, abilities and talents. This skill provides a child a more accurate sense of how they can approach goals, tasks and challenges.
Beliefs and values cultivated over time is a child's internal compass. A child's understanding of their internal compass provides them guidance them on how to feel, respond, act and make decisions.
Self confidence is the belief in one's ability to organize and execute actions to succeed in a particular situation. This allows a child to perform at their potential, accept challenges and manage setbacks.
The Self Management Domain is a child's ability to successfully regulate their own emotions, thoughts and behaviors in different situations. This enables a child to manage stress, control impulses, set goals and motivate themselves. Self Management are essential life skills that impacts how a child engages with their academics, interests and social relationships.
The ability to manage impulses and delay gratification are fundamental to self-discipline. The ability to adequately manage impulses allows a child to decide, act and behave more appropriately. And the ability to delay gratification when appropriate allows a child to set and achieve goals.
The ability to sustain adequate attention and focus on tasks, in thinking and social situations. A child's age-appropriate attention and focus abilities allows them to think clearly, and increase likelihood to complete tasks and responsibilities.
The ability to think and plan ahead to set goals for both their own and social wants/needs. Goals can be short-, mid- or long-term.
The ability to tolerate and manage uncomfortable feelings that may arise during challenges and difficult situations. When a child is able to manage uncomfortable feelings (e.g. frustration, anxiety, fear, grief) when appropriate, this will better equip them to navigate and overcome challenges.
Social Awareness Domain is a child's ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others.
The ability to understand other's thoughts, feelings and point of view. Empathy is both an emotional and cognitive experience meaning it is being able to "feel with" a person through imagination. Having the capacity of empathy enables a child to respond appropriately to and connect with situations and others.
The ability to treat others kindly from the act of acknowledging their feelings, beliefs and actions. Respect is generally shown through a child's thoughts and action to those they have positive regard for and those they have differences or disagreements with. Respect for others is foundational to building and maintaining positive relationships.
The Relationship Skills Domain is a child's ability to establish and maintain healthy and meaningful relationships with individuals and groups. Specific skills include the ability to communicate clearly, listen well, collaborate with others, resolve conflicts, resist inappropriate social pressures and seek and offer help when needed.
The ability to accurately understand and interpret what others are verbally and non-verbally communicating. Being able to listen well decreases misunderstanding and lead to effective communication. This is an essential skill/foundational skill to be able to collaborate, resolve conflict and assert self.
The ability to work with others to achieve common goals. Collaboration skills include planning, negotiation and agreeing with each others but most importantly, it also requires respect and trust. The ability to collaborate is an essential life skill that will enable a child to succeed in social and classroom settings.
The ability to overcome and resolve conflict with others. Conflict resolutions skills include being able to negotiate, compromise, and assert self while being able to be aware of own emotions, have empathy and actively listen to others. Since is it normal and common for conflicts to arise, developing conflict resolution skills will enable a child to navigate and grow from some of the most difficult challenges in life.
The Responsible Decision Making Domain are skills that result from interaction of skills in Self Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Skills domains. This domain includes the child's ability to make constructive choices about their personal behavior and social interactions based on ethical standards, safety concerns, social norms and consequences.
The ability to identify, analyze situations and apply solutions to problems. A child's problem solving skills include being able to identify repeating problems in their lives, think of different solutions, evaluate pros and cons of solutions and apply solutions.
The ability to make constructive choices about their personal behavior and social interactions based on ethical standards, safety concerns, social norms and consequences.
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Play Attune is about providing parents and professionals practical play activities and resources focused on enhancing children's social and emotional wellness. Behind every content we share is the belief that children learn valuable life skills through meaningful relationships and experiences.
Play Attune is created by William, a child and family psychotherapist with extensive experience working with families in various settings. We recently launched in the summer of 2018 and we invite you to join us on learning more and contributing to shape our content!
]]>The Trauma Reaction Cards for Children & Adolescents were created to be used in a therapeutic setting with youth who have experienced trauma or other stressful life events. These cards capture the youth’s post trauma experience through the use of engaging visuals and interaction between the therapist and the individual. Here are three ways to use the cards with young children, parents, and older teens who may be hesitant to engage in trauma treatment.
The Doggone Grief Game is a board game suitable for children, teens and adults. Up to six people may play this game and it may be led by a parent, teacher or counselor. Players roll the die and move their pawn, represented by a dog, along a path. Spaces on the board correspond with Happy Cards, Sad Cards, Scared Cards, Mad Cards, and Wild Cards. Players respond to the card that corresponds to the space that their pawn lands on. The Doggone Grief Game is non-competitive. Playing the game gives participants the opportunity to communicate the mixture of emotions that accompany grief.
Sampson has to go to a new dog school and move to a different home. He wants everything to go back to the way it used to be. Do you feel like Sampson and wish things could be normal?
Oh no, Cole was caught chewing on a tennis shoe. He feels so guilty! Do you ever feel like your special person dying was your fault?
Wow, Daisy really likes that treat she just ate! Can you think of any foods your special person really enjoyed eating?
Zandar is shut out of the room he wants to play in by a gate, and he doesn’t understand this. Since your special person died, are there things you do not understand? Please share.
Frankie like to bundle up for those cold and rainy walks. Move ahead 3 spaces so she can get going.
The Talking, Feeling & Doing Grief Card Game
The Talking, Feeling & Doing Grief Card Game may be used with the board from The Talking, Feeling & Doing Game or it may be used as a stand-alone card game. It is recommended for ages 6-12. The card game may be used by teachers, counselors, or parents. It should be facilitated by an adult who can model appropriate answers. The purpose of the game is to facilitate exploration of participants thoughts and feelings associated with the loss. When used with other interventions it provides opportunities for the clinician to communicate to their client that their grieving is healthy and provide opportunities to teach coping strategies. Through their responses, and thoughtful probing of the client’s responses, clinicians will be able to highlight and bring to awareness the child’s strengths, that can assist the child in the process of mourning.
There are three decks of cards: Talking, Feeling, and Doing. When playing with just the cards, players take turns rolling the special triangular die that has the numbers 1 through 4 printed on it. If the player rolls a 1, a Talking card is chosen and responded to. When rolling a 2, a Feeling card is picked, and when rolling a 3, a Doing card is picked. Players earn a chip each time a card is picked and responded to. When rolling a 4, the player receives one chip, and rolls again. Clinicians are free to modify the game and prompts for their clients. The game may end after a time limit has been met, or a specified number of chips are earned.
Does sadness ever end after a loss or death?
What do you think when you hear the word grief?
If your fear could talk, what would it say?
Tell about how your feelings might be different than other members of your family’s feelings.
Why do you think a child would run to his/her room and want to be alone?
Take out an imaginary paintbrush and pretend you are painting a picture of your loss. What scene did you create? Tell about it.
The Good Mourning Game
The Good Mourning Game was developed for children and adolescents, ages 6 to 18 years old. The purpose of the game is to give participants the opportunity to express their feelings about the loss, and progress through the various stages and tasks associated with dealing with loss. The game gives clinicians the opportunity to provide an open and safe environment for participants to think about their loss. Like the other games discussed above, using a game such as The Good Mourning Game clinicians can communicate to their client that their grieving is healthy and provide opportunities to teach coping strategies. Through their responses, and thoughtful probing of the client’s responses, clinicians will be able to highlight and bring to awareness the child’s strengths, that can assist the child in the process of mourning.
The Good Mourning Game is a board game with a path that is shaped like a star. Players move around the points of the star and respond to cards associated with the point. Participants earn tokens when they respond to a card. After earning 3 tokens the participant moves on to the next star point. There are seven types of cards: Coping, Remembering, Imagining, Playing, Feeling, Affirmation, and Pass Cards. The Coping cards assist participants in exploring their feelings and identifying coping strategies. Remembering cards encourage participants to share memories. The Imagining cards are used to teach visualization and relaxation techniques. The Playing cards give participants a chance to disengage from their grief and an opportunity to benefit from laughter. Emotions may be validated and discussed with the Feeling cards, and a participant’s efforts are acknowledged using the Affirmation cards. A Pass card may be used when a participant doesn’t want to respond to a question.
Sometimes, if a friend moves out of our lives, we also lose his or her family. Has that ever happened to you?
What are two things you can do with the extra energy you have after a loss?
You’ve shared feelings and listened to others. Keep up the good work!
You’re learning to take charge of your grieving by experiencing it and sharing your feelings. That’s courageous work!
Sometimes we lose people who are important to us before we get a chance to tell them things we really want to. Has this happened to you? What would you like to say to the person you lost?
What special food do you connect with your loss?
Life is full of changes, some big, some small, some easy, some hard. Tell about a recent change in your life and explain what it’s been like.
Is there a special place you like to go when you need to be alone? What do you do when you’re there?
Let your loss come into your mind’s eye. What is the first thing you see?
Close your eyes and picture the most beautiful place you can imagine. This place is safe and has a special area where you can rest and play. Describe it.
Nobody Asked Me! A Game About Divorce
One of the most common events that leads to loss is divorce. Divorce can be very disruptive and confusing to a child. Several games have been developed to assist children who are coping with a divorce. One popular board game is Nobody Asked Me! A Game About Divorce. Counseling activities for children who are experiencing divorce should not only facilitate dealing with the loss but should also provide practical information for the participants. Nobody Asked Me! A Game About Divorce addresses various aspects of the losses associated with divorce and gives clinicians the opportunity to provide practical information. The game includes a board, pawns, one die, What If? cards, and tokens. It is recommended for children ages 8 to 15 and can be played by up to four people or teams. Players roll the die and move around the board. After landing on a space, the player either answers the question on the space, or takes a What If? card.
It’s okay to be upset about your parent’s divorce. Do you ever feel angry with your parents for getting divorced? Why or why not?
What are some of your family traditions? How have they changed since your parents divorced?
Name 2 things that you and your Dad do together.
You live with your mom, but you’d rather live with your dad because his house is closer to your school and your friends. What do you do?
An individual’s reaction to a loss is not only defined by the nature of the loss. For example, a child may react to the loss of a parent through deployment in the same manner they react to the death of a caretaker. A child’s reaction to a loss is affected by their developmental stage and level of cognitive abstraction. For example, the experience of the loss of a meaningful relationship or an attachment figure by an infant or toddler results in regression and bodily symptoms. Children in this age group are likely to experience confusion and have trouble understanding the loss, especially if it is a profound loss such as the death of a caregiver. Young children, ages 2 to 5 years old, may perceive death as temporary. They are likely to demonstrate increased emotionality, more intense separation difficulties, engage in repetitive play and question asking, and magical thinking. Younger children may talk about wanting to die so they can be with a loved one, and older children may focus more on factual information. Children ages 6 to 9 years old understand the permanence of death. They may engage in behaviors similar to younger children. Grief is often expressed in “spurts.” Some children may assume that they are responsible for the loss. Other behavioral challenges, such as aggression or hyperactivity may emerge. The child may become whinier, experience insomnia, or have nightmares. Preteens may experience feelings of isolation, loneliness, fear, confusion and guilt. Adolescents may attempt to hide their emotions and engage in high risk behaviors such as abusing drugs and alcohol or staying out late. There may be a deterioration in academic performance, sleep and appetite disruption, or an increase in uncooperative behavior. Emotional reactions can include loneliness, confusion, guilt and worry.
While there are several games available that are directly related to grief and loss, the clinician may choose to focus less directly on grief and loss, and more directly on other concerns. For example, self-esteem, cooperation, or impulse control. Games are one type of intervention that will be used with children experiencing loss and grief. Other interventions may include story-telling, non-directive therapy, mindfulness, and supportive counseling. Only after a careful and thorough assessment can a determination be made about what interventions will be most useful and when to us a specific intervention. Ultimately, we work with our clients to become fully engaged with their school, friends, and family. In some situations we may direct much of our attention to the caregivers. It is important for us to understand how caregivers are handling the loss, and their availability to nurture and care for our client.
In this post I’ll focus on activities for younger children.
Cootie© Storytelling Game
When working with preschool child much of our intervention may be focused on the parent(s). When we see the child individually the bulk of our work may be nondirective. However, there may be times that we want to directly engage the child in a structured activity and address specific concerns. The Cootie© Storytelling Game, developed by the author, can be useful for communicating information and processing thoughts and feelings. This modified version of the Cootie game introduces a therapeutic element. In this version of the Cootie game the clinician constructs a story, with the client, to address specific concerns. The object of the game is for each of the players to construct their own Cootie and share in the story-telling. Traditionally, the first player to complete their Cootie wins the game. In the therapeutic version, it is not necessary to have a winner. The goal is to complete the story.
Game Play: In the Cootie game players collect body parts by rolling a die and then uses these parts to build a Cootie. Each Cootie consists of a body, head, eyes, antennae, proboscis, and six legs. Each part of the body is identified by a number as follows: 1-Body, 2-Head, 3- Antenna, 4-Eye 5-Probobcis, and 6-Legs. A picture guide illustrating which body part goes with each number is included with the game. There are two ways to begin Cootie. Each player rolls the die once and the high score starts the game, or the youngest (visitor) may go first. Each player tries to get the body of the Cootie by rolling a "one" spot. If he succeeds, he gets a free roll of the Die, to try for the head. The body and the head must be obtained in sequential order, before any other parts of the Cootie can be attached. The legs, eyes, antenna, and eyes can be acquired in any order; all are eligible after the body and head are obtained. The player loses the Die when he fails to roll the number for an eligible part that they have not yet acquired. For example, if the player rolls a 4 and already has the eyes, then the die gets passed to the next player. If they roll a 4 and don’t yet have the eyes, they pick them up and roll again. One body, one head, one pair of eyes, two antenna, one proboscis, and six legs are required to make a complete Cootie. Once the body and head are acquired all the other body parts can be acquired in any order. In the therapeutic version, parts are acquired but must be added to the Cootie in order, so that a story can be told that makes sense. If a part is acquired out of order, for example a leg before Cootie has a proboscis, the part is picked up and set aside until it can be added.
Loss Story
This story was created with a four-year-old child whose father was recently incarcerated. After several months, the child was still exhibiting considerable distress about not seeing his father. At first, the child had been told the father was away driving a truck, but after overhearing a conversation among the adults at home, the client learned his father was in jail.
When a one is rolled and the body is acquired each player says: “Cootie is thinking about his Dad today.”
When a two is rolled and the head is acquired each play says: “Cootie wants to see his Dad, but his Dad is in jail.”
Players are now eligible to acquire body parts in any order, but they are added to Cootie in the order listed below. When the eyes are acquired each player says: “Cootie wants to know when his Dad is coming home, so he can see him.” and the player attaches the eyes to Cootie. If the player has already acquired the antenna, then that can now be added.
When the antenna is acquired and added each player says: “Cootie’s Mom said Dad is coming home next year. Cootie is 4. Next year he will be 5. That’s when his Dad is coming home” as they attach the antenna to the head.
When the proboscis is acquired each player says: “Cootie likes to talk about his Dad and look at pictures of his Dad” as they add the proboscis to Cootie.
Each leg may represent a skill, affirmation, or important piece of information. Here are some examples:
After each Cootie is completed, the story is retold, repeating each statement as the appropriate body part is pointed to.
If the child is able to engage in a turn-taking game such as Candy Land©, it too can be modified to work with children experiencing a loss. Prior to playing the Candy Land game the therapist prepares a set of prompts. It is recommended that there be 10-15 prompts on the list. Prompts can cover any topic the therapist chooses. For example, cooperation and sharing, handling frustration, or coping with anxiety. In this version of Candy Land players move their pawn around the Candy Land board the standard way. When the player land on a square that is the same color as their pawn, they respond to a statement or question from the list of prompts.
Below are some sample prompts for dealing with loss, following the death of a classmate. Prompts are read aloud by the clinician, and language is modified as appropriate for the client. When the clinician responds to a prompt, the response should be constructed to address the clients needs.
Click here to read Part Two. The next post will focus on games and activities for children and adolescents.
]]>Since the development of The Talking, Feeling, and Doing board game in the 70’s, there have been hundreds of games developed to promote feeling identification and expression. Below is a brief survey of six of the most popular games currently on the market.
Feeling’s Detective is a matching game and is especially helpful with children who have difficulty picking up on social cues. It is suitable for children in grades 1-6. Feelings Detectivehelps children understand their own feelings as well as the feelings of others. It is especially helpful for children who tend to misread social cues, including those who have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome or are at any other position on the Autism Spectrum. Specific examples help players link specific situations and thoughts with specific feelings.
The Emotions Mania Thumball is a great ice breaker for children, families, and groups. Thumballs are a soft, stuffed ball that is safe for indoor use. Game play is simple. Simply throw, roll, pass or catch the thumball. Look under your thumb and react to the feeling word found there. Each panel has a different word. The Emotion Mania Thumball includes words such as happy, sad worried, curious, silly, proud and lonely. It is suitable for children, teens, and adults.
Go Fish: Fishing for Feelings teaches the skills needed to successfully deal with feelings, recognize feelings in others, and identify appropriate feelings. Players practice talking about their feelings in a non-threatening way. Players answer open-ended questions before receiving a requested card. Each question prompts a discussion about successfully dealing with feelings, recognizing other people’s feelings, or identifying appropriate feelings. The game plays like classic Go Fish. There are two decks of 50 cards in each game. One for children ages 5 to 8 years old, and the other for children ages 8 to 11 years old.
Emotional Bingo for Children (Spanish & English) is a great game for groups, class rooms, and individual sessions. In this bingo game players identify feelings rather than numbers on their Bingo cards. Emotional Bingo helps children learn to recognize various feelings and make empathetic responses. The game rules provide opportunities for children to discuss their own feelings and to respond with empathy to the feelings of others. The children’s version is suitable for children ages 6-12 and there is a version available for Teens.
The Yes I Can! Talk About Feelings cards are designed to facilitate conversation, insight, expressive skills, and increase an individual’s feeling word vocabulary. It is suitable for families, classrooms, counselors, & therapists and improves feeling identification and the expression of emotions. The Yes I Can Talk About Feelings game is great for enhancing self-awareness and the impact of one’s behavior. The instructions include several fun activities and suggestions for using the cards. This game is suitable for ages 5 and up, 2-6 players.
]]>Basic definitions
Rights: food, shelter, clothes, love
Responsibilities: respectfulness, completion of school and homework, doing chores, following adult directions
Privileges: video games, cell phone access, television, crafts, time with friends, name brand clothes
Rewards: ice cream outings, a trip to the toy store, having a friend over, trip to the park, choosing and playing a family game
After we are clear about our definitions, the next step is to shift from a negative approach, to a positive approach. We want caregivers and parents to understand the benefits of focusing on earning privileges, rather than losing them. As an adult, if I drive my car responsibly, I earn and keep my privilege to drive. If I choose to speed or run red lights, I may have to take city transportation or ride my bike.
Basic Guidelines
Consistency: If 2 or more adults are involved in the home, everyone needs to be communicating and working together.
Short-term loss of privileges: Privileges can be re-earned by changing the behavior quickly or by staying calm while engaging in or with something else. Long-term loss of privileges can lead to hopelessness and increased defiance and oppositional behaviors.
Non-punitive: The child either chooses to earn a privilege or not.
Calm, caring and firm caregivers: Adults need to stay emotionally untangled with any tantrums. This means that the adult needs to remain calm, positive, and pleasant while not taking on the child’s emotions. Parents should be coached in active listening: “I hear you are upset, and I’m sorry you lost your privilege … You feel really angry at me right now and are upset you lost your privilege.” Parents should remain empathic and loving.
Additional Suggestions
Caregivers and parents may use this program exclusively within the home or the program may include activities outside of the home. Children struggling outside of the home may benefit from having some of their privileges at home being made contingent on success at school or camp. For example, if the child has a green day, the child gets 1 hour of video games. If the child has a “yellow” day, the child has to wait 15 minutes to start playing the video games for 45 minutes. Finally, if the child has a red day, the child has no video game time. The child can do anything else like play outside, read books, or play board games with the parent. Time frames should match the child’s chronological or developmental age. If the school or camp day is included, teachers and parents will need to work closely together daily. Several days of success may be followed by additional privileges or reward activities.
Some children, especially younger ones, may need for the day to be divided into shorter parts, such as 8 a.m. to 10 a.m., 10 a.m. to noon, noon to 2 p.m. and so on. Children with self-regulation and impulse control issues may benefit from even shorter periods of feedback.
]]>Children learn as they play. More importantly, in play, children learn how to learn.
-O. Fred Donaldson
Another great submission from Leah Davies highlights the importance of encouraging thoughts for children. Leah has tips on how to provoke children to encourage themselves as well as their peers. Examples of positive “self-talk” from Leah’s list include, “It’s OK to make mistakes because everyone does” and, “Each new day brings a chance to do better.” Learning to encourage themselves and others teaches children the value of a positive disposition, and helps them to manage peer relations. Read more here.
A study conducted in the 60’s has been given new life. The marshmallow test was used to measure the impulsiveness of children by giving them one marshmallow to eat immediately, or wait and get two marshmallows later. The initial test found that most children couldn’t wait for the better deal. Surprisingly, the test re-administered to today’s youngsters told a different story. Researchers are looking to credit technological advances for today’s children’s higher IQ levels, which may lead to higher self-control. Read full article here.
A new study has found that there is no difference in the developmental outcomes for children of same-sex versus different-sex marriage. The study followed lesbian mothers, gay fathers, and heterosexual couples. While there were no findings that one type of family unit performed better or worse than the others, it was found that parents in unhappy relationships reported more problems with their childrens’ behavior. Read full article here.
Christopher J. Ferguson, a professor of psychology at Stetson University, claims that addiction to technology is “rubbish.” According to his research, the chemical reaction in the brain while having “screen time” is similar to that of other play-time activities, such as swimming, reading for leisure, or conversing. True addictive substances tend to drive the brain’s levels of dopamine much much higher than the body can naturally produce. Read full article here.
]]>Ask children for examples of thoughts that help them feel better when they are unhappy. Explain that helpful thoughts are called positive “self-talk” and that adults often use this as a way to cope with their problems. List the children’s ideas on the board.
Some examples are:
After making an extensive list, have the children choose a sentence that is meaningful to them. Ask them to make a picture or poster featuring their saying complete with illustrations. Have them prominently sign their creation. Then divide into small groups or pairs and have the children discuss their work. Caution the students to be respectful of each other’s ideas. Display the results in the classroom or in the hall to challenge ALL children to use positive “self-talk” that will encourage them to do their best.
]]>“Play is a Child’s natural medium for self-expression”- Virginia Axline
May is mental illness awareness month and in this article, Fred Hines discusses how mental illness effects 1 in 5 children in the United States alone. “The root cause of mental illness is often found in the genetic make-up and brain chemistry of the child; it’s not a character defect or bad parenting,” said Hines. Just like physical illnesses, children with mental illnesses need help from professionals in order to learn to cope and grow. Read the full article here.
According to a new study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, parents play a large role in whether childhood friendships last or fail. The positive characteristics that parents show, such as affection, were found to have a smaller effect than their negative counter parts. Parents who suffer from depression or are “psychologically controlling” with their kids, tend to damage their children’s relationships, and can cause friendships to fail. Read the full article here.
Students who receive financial support directly from their parents tend to excel in the professional world. Not every parent can support their children through school, but those who can, typically see their children succeed. Conversely, parents who indirectly help their kids financially, such as allowing them to live at home to save money, can actually have an adverse effect on their children’s success. “This highlights one way that social inequality is carried forward across generations,” says Anna Manzoni, an associate professor of sociology at North Carolina State University. Read the full article here.
]]>April was autism awareness month as well as child abuse prevention month. Our post this month showed the staggering statistics of child abuse, as well as highlighted methods to keep child therapists who work with abused children trained and emotionally healthy. Dr. Gary shared valuable resources for child therapists working with abused children. Read more here.
Children learn to regulate their emotions by watching the adults around them. That can seem stressful in and of itself, and you might find yourself saying, “Do as I say, not as I do!” But it’s OK for your children to learn their cues from you. You just have to be mindful of what you’re doing when you become emotional, i.e. angry, sad, frustrated, overjoyed, etc. This article outlines how to use your own body and feelings as teaching tools for healthy emotional coping. Read full article here.
Usually the feeling of guilt is an unpleasant one; a heavy one. In this new study, researcher Amrisha Vaish, of the University of Virginia, finds that the beginning stages of guilt seem to develop around the age of three. Why is this significant? Vaish views the development of guilt as an opportunity for children to learn to make amends, and better foster social relationships. Read full article here.
There are too many factors to count that lead to a child growing into a productive adult with a “good” job. According to Jenny Anderson, letting children play more is a key factor. Playing leads to self discovery and problem solving and, “helping kids play more ‘will equip them to be relevant to the workplace and to society,’ said John Goodwin, CEO of the Lego Foundation and the former chief financial officer for The Lego Group.” Read full article here.
]]>Most of us would agree that the internet has proven to be a fantastic resource for research and learning. It has allowed us to connect with people around the world. Unfortunately, the internet poses threats and dangers that we may never see coming. Adolescents are particularly vulnerable. The Pew Research Center reports that 94% of teens use a mobile device or go online daily. Threats include cyberbullying, cyberpredators, posting private and embarrassing information, scams, malware, and creating posts that later come back and embarrass the teen. Therapists who work with teens may be the first adult that becomes aware when a teen is engaging in dangerous online behavior, or has become a target of a bully, predator, or scam. We need to educate ourselves, our clients, and their parents.
StaySafe.org offers a detailed Online Teen Safety Guide. Starting with the hardware the guide walks parents and teens through simple steps that will help create a safe online experience for the teen. The guide reminds us that mobile hardware also needs to be protected. Identity theft and online scams also target teens, so teens need to be protective of passwords and credit card numbers. Parents need to monitor purchases and educate their teen about the proper use of debit and credit cards. Online gaming can be a source of entertainment and opportunity to connect socially, but can also contribute to dysfunctional behavior.
Much of the danger for adolescents, and an even bigger challenge for parents to supervise, is found on social media. Most of us are familiar with Facebook and Twitter, but these are likely not the sites your teen spends much time on. Much more popular are Instagram, Snapchat, and Pinterest. Other apps your teen may be using include Tumblr, WhatsApp, Kik Messenger, and Whisper. For more information about these and other apps visit Common Sense Media. FBI statistics suggest that there are 750,000 predators online, looking to develop inappropriate relationships with teens. Parents need to learn how to set up privacy settings on social media apps and sites frequented by their child, and they need to actively monitor their child’s activity on these sites. Online predators can often be identified and recognized by their behavior. OnlineSense.org provides a list of 20 early signs that can identify an online predator.
ChildTherapyToys.com also offers some resources that may be of use to teachers and clinicians. Check out our Cyber Safety page for ideas and items to help arm teens with the skills they need to combat unwanted attention online such as the Cyber-Safe game , Cyber Bullying Ball, and more!
]]>Is your child struggling with anxiety?
Is he or she visibly tense or nervous at different times during the day?
Does he put pressure on himself to get everything perfect, and is distressed when he makes mistakes or things don’t turn out just right?
Do your efforts to get her to relax only make things worse, making you feel powerless to help her?
Do you wonder about Play Therapy and anxiety regarding your child?
Anxiety is one of the most common disorders in children, affecting over 10 percent of those under 18. Unfortunately, it can rob a child of the happiness that he or she needs so much.
The good news is that Child-Centered Play Therapy, together with Parenting Counseling, can do wonders to reduce and even resolve childhood anxiety!
I have seen it bring improvement with many children!
Often anxiety in children is generated by when a child, because of certain stressors in his or her life, develops feelings of shame and being in a state of low self-esteem. These feelings of low self-worth lead to anxiety in several ways. It may lead some children towards perfectionism, where the child feels badly about himself and tries to redeem himself from those feelings by creating self-imposed pressure to be very good, to have amazing performance or near-perfect output.
“Feeling so badly about myself is intolerable and I feel helpless to remedy it. What can I actively do to fix it? I know, I will be such a good boy, I will work very hard to accomplish amazing things, and then I will be so accomplished that I will be so proud that I will automatically and necessarily feel great about myself! For sure I will no longer feel badly or ashamed.” Along these lines we find the genesis of perfectionism. The problem is that such a strategy can never work, because objective external accomplishments, no matter how great, cannot defuse the cause and fuel of his low self-esteem. So often even after accomplishing much, the child still feels badly, and then resolves to strive even further towards perfection. This can create great anxiety because after all, consistent, perfect performance is impossible, and the child will inevitably almost always fall short of his desired goals, creating great fear of failure.
To learn more about treating perfectionism in teens or older children, click here.
generating much shame and anxiety over being stranded in a state of low self-esteem.
Furthermore, such children may have unfortunately been criticized by people in their life, and they feel they must get everything perfect and achieve amazing things to get themselves beyond the reach of any potential criticism. This pressure generates anxiety.
To learn more about the pitfalls of criticizing children, click here.
Another common cause of anxiety is fear of reprimands and disapproval of the adults in a child’s life.
Children feel very small and powerless compared to adults and they cringe and wither under fear of reprimands, scolding, disapproval and criticism. Some children are constantly worried about not meriting enough approval and avoiding rebuke, and this generates significant anxiety. They feel pressure that they are not Ok they way they presently are, and they constantly have to measure up.
To learn more about the pitfalls of scolding and reprimands, click here.
important people in their lives display anxiety under stress and they learn to do the same, thinking, “They get anxious when such things happen, I guess I should be anxious too!”
Anxious children often engage in something called catastrophizing, where their fears spiral out of control, “Oh no, this is going to happen and then it is going to lead to that, and then that and everything is going to fall apart and be terrible!”
However in the Playroom all of this including perfectionism, low self-esteem, shame, fear of reprimands and disapproval, an anxious example and catastrophizing all get turned around!
In the Playroom, I don’t tell the child what to do, he or she completely makes all of his own decisions and I follow him, showing great respect and validation for all of his expressed feelings, desires, decisions and needs. This gives the child an exhilarating sense of control over his own life and destiny, leading him to think, “I don’t have to be anxious that things are not going to turn out well. I have the power to make things go the way I want and need, to make things go right!” In this way, his or her anxiety gets reduced right off the bat.
In other words, no matter what the child does, I don’t judge or evaluate him, I simply reflect back a pure acceptance of how he chooses to create his own experience. This leads the child to think, “The things I do are Ok, I’m fine just the way I am.”
where, similar to a sportscaster describing a game, I reflect back to the child verbally every feeling or desire expressed, decision taken or accomplishment earned. For example, when a child picks up a toy to examine it, establish temporary ownership over it, and considers how he is going to play with it, this is important business for him in his world! Therefore I reflect back and enthusiastic , “Oh, now you’ve got that!” This direct, emotionally charged statement shows the child I am celebrating with him his great accomplishment of realizing and honoring his own desire, of controlling his own destiny, of putting into action his own plan to empower himself! This tracking is done constantly for every action, and the character of the verbal expression I make is personally tailored to suit perfectly each move and decision he makes. Over time it does wonders for building self-esteem, because the tracking gives him a criticism and evaluation-free opportunity to view himself in a positive light. By gaining a simple awareness of the uniqueness and special value of each individual aspect of his self as it develops in the playroom, the natural result is the conclusion that “I am doing just great the way I am. I do good things, I don’t need to worry, everything is going to be fine!”
To find out more about how Play Therapy works in general, click here.
I didn’t try and help or control her, I let her decide what she wanted to do which was to try and fix it. I then reflected back to her a description of each step in her efforts to fix it without judging or evaluation. She eventually was successful in fixing it and exclaimed herself proudly, “I know how to fix things!” That was the creation of true self-esteem right there! Real self-esteem is esteem that needs to come from the self, not the other. If I praise and evaluate a child, she will gain unhealthy other-esteem. The goal of tracking is to get the child to evaluate him or herself, that creates true self-esteem.
For a fascinating discussion of how celebration is better than praise, click here.
as my constant reflection and acceptance shows the child that mediocre, less than perfect performance is just as good as better performance. He learns the beauty of the mundane, the liberation and joy of being just average. He learns that it is not objective, measurable achievement that has real value, but rather it is the honoring of his own desires, his appreciating the uniqueness of his own experience, including his moment to moment feelings and the simple everyday activities of the self, that has true value. Together with my interpersonal celebration of each decision, feeling and simple accomplishment, this greatly relieves any shame he may have been feeling, and drives up his self-confidence and self-esteem, leading him to no longer feel the pressure to achieve perfection and amazing accomplishments.
For a discussion of the benefits of Play Therapy for a child’s emotional health, click here.
This gets the child into the habit of being so completely respected, honored, accepted and approved of, that it goes a long way to counterbalance the ill effects of any reprimands he may have received in the past. This greatly reduces his fear and anxiety regarding reprimands. In addition amazingly, it gets the child so used to being treated well that he begins to demand others also treat him likewise outside the session. Once I had an 8-year old who told his father, “Don’t talk to me that way, you need to play with me like Joseph!” The father to his credit took the hint and made changes to his son’s benefit.
99 percent of the time, no matter what the child does in the Playroom, whether he’s unsuccessful at something, accidentally breaks a toy, throws something or spills paint on the wall, my reaction is very relaxed and anxiety-free. Therefore he or she learns the great example, that many different things may happen in life, but there’s no need to get anxious, almost everything is really Ok! One time a 4-year old girl was in the car on the way to our session, and she misbehaved a bit, and her mother said, “Hey you better behave or I’m going to tell Joseph!” She responded, “Oh, Joseph, don’t worry about him, he won’t get angry, he likes me!” She had truly developed the confidence that from me she would get no problems, only good things.
This also reduces catastrophizing, as the child learns from the playroom that things generally have a positive end.
Not only does Play Therapy reduce anxiety, but is totally resolves behavior problems such as tantrums, anger and defiance, reduces symptoms of ADHD and even depression, and generates a wonderful parent-child relationship! In addition it is also my kind heart and all the boundless acts of kindness I bestow upon a child in the Playroom that promotes healing. It is my greatest joy to help a child!
Furthermore, I work with teachers to help reduce academic pressure coming from homework and school. I used to be a teacher and I know how to talk to them. I have gotten teachers to reduce to workload at times when necessary which reduces pressure and anxiety.
There is much that parents can do at home to reduce anxiety in their child. The most important thing to remember is to try to not be anxious yourself, or more specifically not to express anxiety in front of the child. This prevents the child from learning an anxious reaction by example. You need to cultivate the value that “Everything is Ok just the way it is. We have no problems! Everything about you, my child, and almost everything you do is just fine!” Problems may arise, but we take them in stride! We react to them with cool, calm acceptance.
In addition, it pays to avoid criticism, reprimands, scolding and disapproval like the plague! Usually whatever benefit you hope to gain through these things is outweighed by the damage done to the child’s emotional health. It’s wiser to tolerate mischief and mistakes with a smile!
During Parenting Counseling, I gradually get to know parents and their child, and how the whole family works, and instead of giving so much direct advice, I help parents to develop their own innate wisdom which I am convinced every parent possesses. In this way I help them to develop their own personally tailored plan to resolve their child’s issue. A plan they developed themselves is one they are more likely to cherish and implement.
To find out how Parenting can help reduce ADHD symptoms, click here.
Play Therapy for anxiety, together with Parenting Counseling are the amazing double tools which can resolve almost any child’s anxiety, and most other issues as well!
To find out more about Child-Centered Play Therapy, click here.
Please be advised that the above represents a parenting ideal, and I don’t expect parents to be perfect. So have patience with yourself and try to adopt new ideas gradually.
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Joseph Sacks is a child psychotherapist in lower Manhattan. He specializes in using Child-Centered Play Therapy to resolve behavior issues such as tantrums, defiance, anger and ADHD. It is amazing how well Play Therapy works to resolve these issues!
In addition Joseph helps parents to develop their own unique parenting approach to resolve their children’s issues. The parent-child relationship is the most important element in any child’s life, and by simply tuning up that relationship, we can have a tremendously beneficial effect. Joseph has written over 120 fascinating and well-researched articles on parenting and Play Therapy, which can be found at Tribecaplaytherapy.com.
Termination of play therapy services can be difficult for the counselor and the child. The relationship formed during the months of therapy is one of the most important aspects of the process. Termination activities differ across settings: some offices provide certificates and some simply said good bye.
Today, I will share a termination activity that has been quite popular in my office.
The truth is that it is also a goal setting activity. So, you can use it at the beginning and the end of therapy.
It started way back in January 2016….I like to call it the Chain of Intentions.
The Chain of Intentions was inspired by a commercial that I watched about the My Intent Project. According to their webpage,
We believe there is purpose inside each of us and we want our efforts to encourage people to share more truth and inspiration with each other. We are not a jewelry company – we are an intentions project-My Intent Project
Despite their claim not to be a jewelry company, they do in fact, make jewelry. The customer chooses a word of inspiration to have marked on a disc and uses that as inspiration or motivation in their daily life.
(Note…I have no affiliation with the My Intent project and have received no financial compensation from them…this is purely background).
So, I ordered one with my intention for my play therapy practice.
My word was FOCUS.
Focus on PLAY THERAPY.
See, I have a habit of saying yes to all opportunities. Those things were taking me away from my core mission which was to use play therapy to help children deal with trauma or other difficulties at home or in school.
I needed to FOCUS.
But, because I could not buy a necklace as a termination gift for each or my clients, I came up with a way to create a chain of intentions with all of the (willing) clients and students that came to my office.
The end result was a way for them to leave something behind. A testament to the power of therapy and the work that was accomplished. A motivation for other children that success was possible. And a vision for their future about what could help guide them after therapy was over.
My goal was to get from one side of the room to the other. It took the entire year. My office is big! But as it grew, it became a fixture in the office and I am excited to take it down and start again. And a little sad to see it go. I am thinking that I can use it as a garland for my office Christmas tree. A symbolic way to honor the work of the year and transition into the intentions for the new one.
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Thanks to Jennifer Taylor for an other great reader submission! Check out more from Jennifer at jentaylorplaytherapy.com
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]]>“Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Delightfulness is how I prefer it. Everyone else calls it a disorder,” says Dav Pilkey, the popular children’s author of the Captain Underpants series. When Pilkey was in second grade, he was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and Dyslexia. Like many children with ADHD, Pilkey had a difficult time focusing, staying still, and “behaving properly” in class. He was constantly criticized by his teachers and he often felt like an outsider in the classroom.
In second grade, Pilkey began creating Captain Underpants comic books, which his classmates absolutely loved. He had a natural talent for making kids laugh and he loved it. His teacher however, was not fond of Pilkey’s cartooning at all. One time, she even ripped up one of Pilkey’s Captain Underpants drawings in front of the entire class, told Pilkey that his comic books would never amount to anything, and sent Pilkey out into the hallway. What do you think young Pilkey did then? Well, he did what any other determined and hyperfocused ADHDer would do: He immediately began creating another Captain Underpants comic book!
During Pilkey’s childhood, his parents were very supportive of his passion for cartooning and they never listened to the negative critiquing of his teachers about his ADHD. His parents embraced his ADHD and helped Pilkey see his ADHD as a remarkable gift. When Pilkey got to college, one of his professors noticed his gift as well and encouraged him to become a children’s book author. Pilkey then wrote several children’s books and at 31 years old, got Captain Underpants published. Pilkey is a classic example of what having supportive and loving family and teachers can do for a person with ADHD. Twenty years after Captain Underpants was first published, the series is still a huge hit with kids, mine included.
Let me tell you a bit about my own ADHDer. She is eight years old and before she read her first Captain Underpants book, she hated reading. Getting her to read her assigned book for school was like pulling teeth. She complained that reading was boring and a waste of time. When she got to a big word that was difficult to pronounce, she’d become frustrated and would start crying. She would also lose her place a lot and would reread paragraphs. She was also not very good at comprehending what she had read, because even though she was reading the words, she wasn’t really paying attention to the words.
Then one day, Captain Underpants entered her life and Tra-Laa-Laaa, my ADHDer loved reading! While we were at the library, she asked if she could check out a Captain Underpants book and I said “Yes” of course. As soon as we got home, she plopped herself on the couch and began reading. Then she’d lay upside down on the couch and keep reading. Then, she’d kneel down on the floor and use the couch as a table and keep reading. Needless to say, she devoured that book. While she was reading, she was smiling and laughing. She was really enjoying herself and I have never ever seen her love reading so much. I have Dav Pilkey and his ADHDmazing imagination to thank for that. He absolutely has a talent for getting kids, particularly kids with ADHD, to love reading! The layout of his books are great for kids like mine too. The words are not overwhelming, the chapters are short, and there is a picture on practically every single page. There are even mini-breaks from reading the kids take without even realizing it with Pilkey’s Flip-O-Rama feature throughout the book.
Now I know the Captain Underpants series is known for its potty humor, which is one of the main reasons why children love the stories so much, but as a parent of an ADHDer, what I love the most about the series are the relatable characters for my ADHDer and the hidden (perhaps not-so-hidden) messages that kids with ADHD pick up on.
The main characters in Captain Underpants are two little boys named George and Harold. They are best friends who are both fun, creative, mischievous, and smart… oh, and they both have ADHD. Pilkey makes it no secret that the boys have ADHD and explains what it is like for children with ADHD. “George and Harold weren’t really bad kids. They were actually very bright, good-natured boys. Their only problem is that they were bored in school,” Pilkey writes in Captain Underpants And The Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants (Yes, that is the actual title of the book).
Pilkey also includes some hidden ADHD messages behind his stories. Movie Spoiler Alert: In the new Captain Underpants film, Professor Poopypants hates anything that is funny, so he creates a machine that zaps the humor out of people’s minds so that people will no longer think anything is funny. Professor Poopypants tries to zap the humor out of George’s and Harold’s brains, but it doesn’t work, because the humorous part of their brains are too big and powerful. We know that the brains of people with ADHD are hardwired differently. ADHD is a condition people are born with and it is not something people can simply grow out of. Nobody can “zap” ADHD out of anyone and honestly, why would they want to? ADHD is a big part of what makes children like George and Harold so fun and clever and ADHD is a big part of what makes Pilkey so imaginative and passionate. If it weren’t for ADHD, Captain Underpants wouldn’t even exist!
My family and I had the pleasure of meeting Dav Pilkey last month at his Supa-Epic Tour O’ Fun celebrating 20 epic years of Captain Underpants and the release of his latest Dog Man book. It was such a huge honor to be able to hear Pilkey tell us about his ADHD and how he used it to his advantage. He definitely gives ADHD a good name! It is so important to have role models in our ADHDers’ lives that treat ADHD as a gift. Pilkey is without a doubt, one of the very best role models for kids with ADHD today. We are so happy we were able to tell Pilkey how much his books mean to us and how ADHDmazing we think he is. It was definitely a moment I’ll never forget, because I could see in my daughter’s eyes that she was proud to be an ADHDer, just like Pilkey. Just like Pilkey, she too is creative, intelligent, and remarkable and just like Pilkey, there is no doubt in my mind that she too will be going places.
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Did you love this post as much as we did? Get more from Cristina Margolis at MyLittleVillagers.com
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